Thai Etiquette – Thai customs, Thai culture, Thai Girls. A Few ‘Do’s And Don’ts’ Before searching for your potential Thai mail order bride, it is important to learn more about Thai etiquette.  Thais are a polite, friendly race, and take immense care in their behaviour towards other people. It is only right therefore, that visitors to Thailand show the same degree of respect for Thai customs, culture, and conventions. SEE  “ DATING NEGATIVES AND POSITIVES”  at bottom of page.

Putting Your Foot in It.
Never touch a Thai; even a child, on the head. Thais consider the head the most important part of the body, deserving the most honour, whilst the foot, is the least honoured. This belief originates from the ancient Hindu belief (subsequently imported to Thailand) that the head is the most sacred part of the body, and the feet the most unclean. When in a Buddhist temple, one should tuck ones legs beneath ones body, avoiding stretching them out to face the Buddha. The wearing of shoes inside temples and homes is also forbidden.

Greetings. The traditional Thai greeting is the “wai” in which both hands are raised slowly and gracefully, palm down and close to the body, the closer the hands are held to the head, the greater the respect signalled. If greeted with a “wai”, it is polite to return the greeting but not to initiate it. Do not “wai” servants, hotel staff, taxi drivers, other servile members of the public, or children.

Dress.
Always dress smartly when accompanying a lady in Thailand. Do not wear shorts or scanty clothing, especially in rural areas –This is insulting to the girl (Thai people will assume the girl is a prostitute). Contrary to popular belief, the Western decadence embraced by the Thai sex industry, is totally unrepresentative of the general Thai attitude towards the body. Indeed, Thai morality verges on near Victorian values.

Behaviour.
Embracing, holding hands or showing any signs of affection in public, is generally unacceptable, and should only occur when a couple know each other reasonably well.

Thai nationals do not display extremes of emotions in public. To do so is perceived as losing face, and is a sign of weakness. Thai girls like men who exhibit a gentle calm and placid demeanour, displaying conduct worthy of a gentleman at all times - but they also like men with a good sense of humour! Never make any intimate contact with a Thai lady, until you have made a commitment to her.

Royalty.
The Royal family holds an exalted position in the hearts and minds of all Thai people; indeed they are almost regarded as having divine status. Most Thai households have pictures of King Bhumibol and Queen Sirikit in their homes. When addressing or referring to the Royal family, the Thais use a special language full of deferentials. Disrespect to the Royal family will cause great offence in Thailand. Treading on a coin or note bearing the Kings head, may land one in trouble, as it is deemed to be tantamount to kicking the King in the face!

Religion.
Suggestions that Buddhism-The most prevalent religion in Thailand and much of the Far east is not compatible with Western ways or religious beliefs, is quite erroneous. Buddhism plays an essential part in the everyday lives of most Thais. Buddhist monuments should be treated with respect – this entails wearing long trousers or skirts covering ones arms, and removing ones shoes, when one visits such sites. All Buddhist images are sacred, and should be treated with respect at all times. Buddhism is not so much a religion, as a way of life. It is compatible with any beliefs pertaining to a wholesome way of life, irrespective of the religion.

DATING NEGATIVES and POSITIVES!

Do NOT do things that will generally upset Thai people such as talking loudly and drawing attention to yourself. Not only will YOU “lose face”; your lady will, by association, also “lose face”. Thai ladies like men who display a calm reserved pleasant assured demeanour.

Do NOT lose your temper EVER with a Thai person, in ANY situation. Just smile behind your teeth “Yim heng” and calmly explain the problem. This will generate the most respect AND achieve the most satisfactory results. If you do “lose it”, you will appear VERY foolish and boorish in your lady’s eyes. 

Do NOT make unpleasant remarks about Thailand, Thai people, or MOST importantly – The Monarchy. After all; in the lady’s mind; if everything is so “bad” about Thais and Thailand; why are you going out with a Thai lady in the first place?  

Do show your appreciation of Thai culture and all things Thai. She will be proud of her country and thrilled that you appreciate it also. 

Do invite her to come with you to the temple to “make merit”. This will be much appreciated, as it will show that you are keen to embrace the country and its culture. 

Do NOT be forever complaining, about this, that, or the other. Your lady wants a man who is happy, and who enjoys life. Life should be fun. “Sanuk”! She does not want to be with a “grizzling grouch”!  

Do NOT swear or use bad language in her company. She will not appreciate it. Remember - When you marry a Thai lady, you effectively marry a “parrot”! I you do engage in bad language and tell dirty jokes; don’t be surprised if one day she embarrasses you in a social situation and uses the same language back to you! 

Do NOT “splash the cash”. You want a lady to like you for yourself; NOT what you’ve got! Small thoughtful inexpensive gifts like a rose, or pocket Anglo-Thai dictionary etc. WILL be appreciated.  

Do NOT be on an “ego trip” when you are with a lady, and start boasting about your lifestyle and possessions. She will just think that you are very “shallow”. 

Do NOT arrive late for a date. Be sure to allow double the time you think a journey will take; to meet her – as sometimes the journey WILL take twice as long or more, in Bangkok traffic ! 

Do NOT suggest that you “Go Dutch” on a date, when it’s time to pay the restaurant bill. (Your income will probably be 10-20 times more than hers) The lady will always expect YOU to pay; thus reinforcing the belief in her mind that you are a potential good provider. 

Do give her a little money (200 Baht maximum we suggest) for her taxi fare home after your date. It is neither necessary nor advisable, to escort your lady home in a taxi; as you will then be making your way back to your hotel alone, with possibly an unscrupulous driver, who may suddenly “lose his sense of direction”, and try to take you somewhere else, other than your hotel, that you do not wish to go! 

Do NOT be surprised if your “date” arrives with her friend or relative as a chaperon, for her own initial peace of mind; until she feels more comfortable and safe in your company.  

Do realise that having a date with you is a very serious event in her life. It is certainly NOT something she does every day! 

Do understand that from her point of view; if you become “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”, and are seeing each other every day to the exclusion of all others; she will be expecting that sometime in the not too distant future you will be proposing marriage to her.  

Do NOT take your lady to a bar or discothèque, as these places are associated in her mind as being places for a man to “pick up” a prostitute. The fact that she is with you; will give the automatic assumption to onlookers that she is one also!  

Do NOT EVER wear shorts when dating a lady- for the same reasons as given above. 

Do NOT go over the top and profess “love” for your lady, soon after meeting her. She will just consider you to be an insincere, unsuitable “playboy”. 

Do NOT discuss any previous “adventures” or “experiences” that you have had in Thailand with any other ladies. She will just think that you are a “butterfly” and NOT suitable husband material. 

Do NOT discuss previous partners from your past life, for the same reasons as above.  

Do make sure you are always well presented and that you are always clean. Do NOT dress like a backpacker. 

Do dress smartly. For Westerners in Thailand, nice clothes can be bought cheaply and really there is no excuse not to look good. In Thailand, people like to look good, and Thai women are definitely more attracted to men who dress well. 

Do NOT smoke or drink heavily when you are with a lady, as she will have concerns over your health and wellbeing. This shows that she cares about you. 

Do NOT be surprised if your lady is not keen to walk with you for long periods in bright sunshine. She wants to keep her skin light for you! Thais like to stay as pale as possible. 

Do NOT “force yourself” upon a girl, by trying to persuade her to go to bed with you, after she has only known you for a short period of time. 

Do NOT expect to have intimacy with a Thai lady until at least engagement has been agreed. 

Do NOT be surprised if your lady wants to trim your nails, comb your hair, and enjoys attending to your washing and cleaning etc. She wants to show you that she enjoys looking after you, and in so doing, wishes to prove, that she would make you a good wife!   

Do talk about your family, and ask about her family.  This will be appreciated, and will show that you are a genuine ”caring” “family” man. After all; if you do have a relationship with a Thai lady, she will want to feel that you will be able to have a good relationship with her family as well. 

Do NOT expect to meet her parents unless your intentions towards her are honourable - ie you wish to propose marriage to their daughter. 

Do treat her like a lady, opening doors for her, carrying her bags for her, etc. She WILL appreciate it!  

She is NOT like a feminist Western woman!